Think about why you split up in the first place. Was it your fault, his, or both your faults? Sometimes it’s hard to tell whose fault it was because so many little things seemed to contribute to the break up. Most people, if they are truthful, will find that there was fault on both sides.

If there’s no obvious reason such as infidelity or a massive betrayal, then there’s a better chance that you’ll be able to get your husband back.

If there was an affair or a really big and hurtful problem like that, getting back together will be more of a challenge. But you can still do it, if you both want it and you both work hard at it. In any case, if you don’t both want it, it’s pretty unlikely that it will happen.

Have you asked your husband if he’s interested in getting back together? Do you even know his feelings about it? You might be surprised at the response you get if you ask.

If he isn’t excited at the prospect of getting back together, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, by the way. Just that something in the relationship wasn’t right for him and he’s no longer afraid to admit that. As bad as that sounds, it doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t be fixed.

If you can, get him to try some of these techniques with you. Try reading a book about marriage problems out loud to each other. If you’re reading it at the same time, then it’s easier for you to discuss what you’ve just read while it’s all fresh on your mind.

Don’t be upset or alarmed if he doesn’t have any interest in going to counseling. While this does make it harder to get your man back, it can still be done. You can go to the counseling on your own and learn the techniques you need to communicate with him properly.

You can teach him these techniques, either overtly (here, let me show you) or covertly, by simply using them every time you interact. Even if he has no interest in learning anything you learned in class, the very act of doing the exercises yourself can give you a sense of power you didn’t have before.

Going to the counseling can make you feel like you have some power in the relationship, and can influence it either for the better or the worse. And since you’re alone with the counselor you can talk about some private issues that bother you, as well. Soon, “I want my husband back” could turn into, “I got my husband back.”