Rhonda stormed out of Tim’s apartment one day saying she never wanted to see him again. Tim was stunned. All he could think about was how to win her love back.

He called his buddy Joe and asked what he should do. Should he send flowers or candy?

“No, don’t send her anything,” Joe said. “And don’t call, email, or text her either.”

Tim was stunned by this advice. He wanted to win love back right away before Rhonda had a chance to look around and find someone better.

But Joe told him that giving Rhonda the space to look around was just what she needed. There was a small chance that she would go forever, it was more likely that she would settle down and come back to him. She must come to the conclusion that their relationship was special on her own.

Further, Joe advised, it would be bad if Tim looked too desperate. This would give Rhonda the upper hand in many ways. It would lead to further grand gestures in the future. If he wanted to get the relationship back on track, Tim needed to give Rhonda space.

Tim and Rhonda both had a lot invested in the relationship. They had been together 18 months and had even talked about marriage. Surely you can understand why it was such a blow to Tim when Rhonda walked out.

But Tim took Joe’s advice, as difficult as it was, and waited for Rhonda to call. It took her four days, but she finally contacted him.

The first thing she wanted to know was “why didn’t you call me?” He told her matter-of-factly, “I was waiting for you to call. I knew you needed space.”

He was right, and she knew it. Rather than getting upset, she actually appreciated the fact that he hadn’t called.

As they talked about where their relationship had been and how to get it back on track, they discovered that one of the problems was that they had been crowding one another. The thought of getting married had been suffocating.

So, they decided to back off. They would still see each other exclusively, but they would make more time for friends and solo activities. They wouldn’t talk about marriage again for six months.

Tim restrained himself from pursuing Rhonda when she needed space. This allowed her to reevaluate her relationship with him on her own terms.

She initially thought that he would call her all the time. She was actually surprised that he didn’t. But, because he refrained from contacting her, she was able to see what her life was like without him in it. And she realized just how much she missed him.

So, if you’re determined to win love back, keep in mind that sometimes it is best to give your partner a little space to figure things out.

There was a party one night thrown by one of Tom’s friends. Sheri was busy, so Tom went to the party alone. He says he doesn’t know what he was thinking, and he knows that it was stupid, but he started to make out with one of Sheri’s friends there. Sheri, of course, heard about it and had a dramatic confrontation with Tom.

“I never want to see you again,” she said. “I am so out of here.”

Tom is devastated. He knows he was wrong, he knows he shouldn’t have done it, but what’s done is done. How can he win his ex girlfriend back?

The first thing Tom needs to do is sincerely apologize. This is not just a quietly mumbled “I’m sorry” either. He needs to realize what he did wrong, figure out why he did it, decide whether he will ever do it again, and most importantly, communicate all of this honestly to Sheri.

Once he has done that, Tom should stop. The ball is now in Sheri’s court.

Tom shouldn’t call Sheri. He shouldn’t email, text, or comment on her wall. He shouldn’t send flowers or candy. What he needs to do now is give Sheri a bit of time and space. And, he should use this time himself to realy determine what he wants in the future.

On the other hand, since he and Sheri have many of the same friends and go to school together, he shouldn’t avoid her either. If he sees her, he should politely say hi and be on his way.

The other thing Tom shouldn’t do, if he really wants Sheri back, is to see someone else. If he starts dating other people he will destroy any chance of reconciliation.

At some point, Sheri will initiate contact. This will signal his opportunity to start to rebuild the relationship. He should take things slow and try to be as positive and honest and up front as he can be.

If he is sincere, Tom will have a good chance at winning his ex girlfriend Sheri back. And if your situation is similar and you follow this advice, you will have a good chance too. Good luck.